Life, Inspired.

Lately I find myself spending a lot of time searching.
Pinning.
Feeling Inspired.

Storing ideas....for someday.
Someday.

Reading motivational quotes and thinking F*&ck yeah!
"A tiger doesn't lose sleep over the opinion of the sheep"
OR
"Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter".

We Pin these things over and over again.
But do we really live them?

I'm not sure I do.

I've decided to start a new series.
A little experiment.
I weekly column called: Life, Inspired.

A quote. 
I live it for a week or two. 
I see what happens. 
I report back to YOU. 

Week One. 
Here it is.....

Regardless of the situation, there will always be two sides.
Easy to understand.
Hard to swallow.

This week I had some serious work stress.
I've been working with a few new therapies and overall, things have gone very well.
I feel really pleased about my ability to *help* and the results have been amazing.

But, as it goes in life, you can't please 'em all and differences in opinion pop up.
This gets amplified when there is a substantial amount of money on the line.

There were warnings that emotions were starting to run high. There was one moment in particular when I was being told that a patient was upset and that expectations weren't being met.....but I was busy and I missed it. I missed the signal and I let things go too long.

Then there were angry phone calls and emails.
Message received!

I tend to be a pleaser so I find this type of a situation stressful. I really hang on to it.
I pride myself on my ability to communicate clearly so being told I suck at it is kinda hard to handle.

As humans we tend to want to protect ourselves.
I know that my intention was to help.
I know that I articulated the process.
I know that things were going, from my end, exactly as they needed to go.

It would have been really easy to brush the issue off as *their problem*.


I hear that I lot lately. 
"That's your shit" seems to be the oh-so-evolved, new age speak for "I know what I said and did and if you misunderstood then that's your problem".

And there is some truth to that.....
We see the world as we are. 
We hear things from our own perspective. 
We understand based on what we already know.

Which makes communication complicated. Often others will not *hear us right* or understand our intentions.....even when we are coming from the very best place.


I could have taken that perspective.
I could have said, "You know what? That's not my shit, it's hers". 
Case closed. No sleep lost. 

But I know better. 
I know that if I am looking to really help, if my main objective is true connection, than putting it all on someone else is never going to work. 

As Tony Robbins says "Intention means nothing. Results are everything".
If we want to change the results we need to change our approach. 

It was clear that there was something in this for me to learn.
A new approach to take.
So I made some tough phone calls and had some long, difficult conversations.
I really went into those conversations with the intent to hear exactly what the other person was saying, from their perspective.

To imagine what things were like for them, where they were standing.

It was an incredible experience.
I was able to figure out where the communication had broken down.
I was able to own my part in the issue, without damaging my sense of self.
I managed to hear the other person and ease her concerns, ending things on an amicable note.

And now, I can make changes that will improve my practice and my ability to help.
not so bad after all!

Are there situations in your life, work, family where you've been able to really *see the other side*?