Life, Inspired.

[Graphic: Pinterest]

Okay, so the quote is actually:

"Before you judge/criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes" -unknown

I understand that this quote could apply to all matters of life deep and meaningful.
Existential and compassionate.

But you know when I remind myself of this quote most often??
In the car.
In an attempt to temper my road rage.

I first became aware of my *driving impatience* in my teens. I was driving down Main Street in Fredericton with one of best friends Sarah (whose wedding, incidentally, I am flying to tomorrow!).

We're driving along, singing some N'Sync song Sarah loved and this guy in a mini van does a left turn out of a Shoppers Drug Mart and CUTS ME OFF!! Rage!

Then he slams on his breaks and cuts across to the right turn lane on the other side of us.
Rage!

I hit the gas and pull up beside him, yelling obscenities and waving the middle finger. Or maybe both middle fingers? Sarah joined in too.

Until......
Until......
Until we realized it was Sarah's dad!!!!!
The horror!!!!

He was just smiling and waving back at us, happy as a clam, completely unaware of what was going on (Thank god, as I will be spending the weekend with him....)

Then there were a couple of years driving in Europe and a couple of years driving in Toronto.
My love of the horn and middle finger just intensified.
(While in England, I also added the TWO finger salute! Yeah!)

A couple of months ago, a small woman in a Mazda 5 cut in front of my car and from the back seat I heard Winnie shout "What is wrong with you??? That lady CANNOT drive!"

Uh-oh.

Around the same time I started to notice times when I did stupid things on the road....

When I am late to pick Winnie up at school
When I was iron deficient in my thrid trimester and didn't know it and I kept stopping at green lights.
When I am dealing with something super stressful and I get distracted.
When I don't know where I am going and I stop start at every side street and I completely forget I have a blinker.

Then there was that time Pippa had a seizure and I drove like a crazy person to get home......

But there is a reason for all of that!!!! Right??
There is a reasonable explanation for all of my driving infarctions. I 'm just in a tough situation....
That being said, that woman in the Mazda 5 is clearly just a blind idiot who never read the driving manual (I think I actually yelled that exact thing out a window once.)

It's called the Fundamental Error of Attribution.

"Our tendency to overestimate the effect of disposition or personality and underestimate the effect of the situation in explaining social behavior. The fundamental attribution error is most visible when people explain the behavior of others. It does not explain interpretations of one's own behavior—where situational factors are more easily recognized and can thus be taken into consideration."

Right.

So now, when a moron guy in a minivan cuts me off and then slams on his breaks I wonder "is he lost? late to pick up his daughter? about to lose his house?". I remember that the mistake is not necessarily a representation of his entire personality but maybe just a side effect of his situation.

It helps me like people more. Understand them more.
Also, I give the finger a lot less which I believe is good for my karma.