Turning Things Around...For Her.

So, this is always a bit trickier. Turning something around for someone else doesn't always go the way you'd like it to go....but she is only four and she was clearly struggling.

She was consistently angry, aggressive (almost to the point of mean spirited) and exhausted.
We hadn't seen behaviour like this since after Pippa was first born.

There were several major incidents at home and school and then one day, a few weeks ago, she ran away from Jamie in a park, onto a busy street. Holy panic.

This was WAY beyond her typical four-year-old issues.
We knew that, while we can't control everything, there were a few things we could do for her:

1. We started supplementing her with iron (Liquid Floradix). She's been prone to anemia for over two years. We've done blood work in the past but at this point, we know the signs. I'd been watching her fatigue increase since Christmas, kind of doubting what I was seeing and ignoring my gut.

When things got really bad I stopped ignoring my intuition and started the supplement.

2. Winnie is a real *quality time* kid. It's her true Language of Love. Her behaviour really increased after I had been away for 5 days (having never previously left her for more than a night). So we made her bedtime earlier (also helped with the fatigue) and I started spending a lot of time reading books. A LOT of time. A little one-on-one goes a long way with this kiddo.

3. We followed Kim John Payne's recommendations in his amazing book: Simplicity Parenting. Dr. Payne's basic theory is that "All children are quirky" and that stress (the stress of too much stuff, too many activities, too much t.v., too much insight into the adult world, too much busy-ness, etc) exacerbates children's quirks into disorder-like behaviour.

"The pace of our daily lives is increasingly misaligned with the pace of childhood" Kim John Payne

He calls it soul fever. We've seen it a few times with Winnie.
So, while I mentioned that I decluttered for myself and my own well-being....it was very much for my children as well.

I got rid of BINS of toys that were unused and unloved and creating mental stress, I cleared out the kids rooms, even the books (GASP!)

You can see in the pic below. She now has a small library (as does Pippa) at the top of their closets, tucked away. She has 5 books beside her bed, which we read over and over and when we get really tired of them...we can switch them out.

Almost all drawers in Winnie's room are empty. There are clothes inside the closet. That's it.
Inside the red dresser (above) there are a few ponies and items she like to use to put on plays/tell stories. Each item has a very specific place.

I did this two weeks ago and it looks the same today. She loves to make her bed in the morning and to clean up at the end of the day, putting this back in their place, because everything actually has a place.

This has made a huge impact.

Today, for the first time in weeks, I saw my little girl as she truly is.
Lighthearted, full of humour and compassion, excitement and enthusiasm.

She's not perfect (we would loathe that. lol) but she's back to being a perfectly quirky four year old.
And we LOVE that.

What do you do when your kids are struggling?