Rituals of Everyday Life.

This month, filled with birthdays and holidays and a few difficult moments with patients, got me to thinking about ritual and the role it plays in our lives…

Growing up, most of the ritual I remember involved religion: baptisms, first communions, marriages, funerals, Christmas and Easter celebrations. We used ritual in the traditional sense, to process life’s most exciting and overwhelming moments: the arrival of a new baby, a birthday, major family struggles, or the loss of someone we never imagined living without.

Now grown, with a family of my own, I realize that we have developed our own unique set of rituals. Rituals of our everyday life. The small actions we take every day that strengthen our family bond, declare our commitment to one another and provide us with the comfort of the familiar: the words we know, the people we love, the actions we’ve taken a thousand times.

These small, perhaps less significant, rituals create the rhythm of our day-to-day life, encourage us support and care for each other, and help us to process the here and now.

Here’s a peek at a few of our family rituals:

Music in the morning: Jamie often gets up early with the baby, giving me a few extra oh-so important minutes in bed….or the chance to exercise! I love that the first thing he and Winnie do in the am is crank the tunes! It’s a wonderful thing to wake-up/come home to and really sets the mood for the day:
Paul Simon = Mellow and relaxed
Lady Gaga = giddy and fashion forward??
On our iPod this week? The Yeah Yeah Yeahs!!

Looking for some dancing shoes....

Found Some!

Creativity everyday: Something. Anything. Some days involve glue and glitter and paint and felt…others, are just a few moments of pretend play, singing OUT LOUD, or crazy dancing. We refer to this part of the day as “therapy”.

Evening debrief: At the end of the day, before dinner, or after dinner with a cup of tea, Jamie and I make the effort to sit on the couch and talk about our day. We do it with Winn in sight, encouraging her to play quietly on her own, leaving us time to connect. I think this is an especially important ritual. In putting ourselves first (if only for 2 minutes a day!) we place importance on our relationship and create space for communication. Communication that can otherwise get left behind in our busy lives.

We hope that Winnie sees us talking and understands that we work hard at our partnership. I hope she grows to see us as a team..…and then when she hits adolescence: a force to be reckoned with!

Dinner Preparation and Celebration: Recently, Winn and I started attending the sweetest little playgroup at The Mulberry School around the corner. A play group that has helped us re-discover the importance of eating together and being thankful for our food.

We now make an effort, every night, to sit down to dinner, light candles, use the fancy napkins and talk. We review the happiest part of the day, the hardest part of the day and everything in between.

Our favorite ritual of the moment: The Family Hug. This is the best. At the end of the day, after bath, and stories and cuddles, just before we tuck Winnie into bed, we sandwich her in a huge bear hug. We shout “FAMILY HUG!” which seems kinda silly until she nuzzles her little head into us and whispers "Fam-yee"….
'Nuf said.


From our family to yours, have a wonderful weekend!